［星璨迟到的生日贺，三星］Dear my lover
Dear my lover:
I’ve decided to writing this letter before my hand can not work. Dr Albert told me there is less for one week in my life at longest. So, I think it’s time to say something……something we never talked about, something I never talked to you and really regret.
You were chaperoning me all the time since both of us were the little boys. We went to the one primary school, lived on the one block, then one high school, one college, until the one country, one home. Your smiling face was full of my childhood, and your beautiful hair, fragrance from your body, and the warm you given to me all the time. I was a bit slow I know that, too slow to never thought why you put your whole time on me.
Sometimes l will be a fool that I have to confess. I can’t forget the day which I introduced Maureen to you and told she was my girlfriend. God, I will never forget that time, that expression in your eyes. I damned to myself when I recalled this every time, I can imagine how huge damage for you, how cruel I am at now. But that time, I knew nothing.
It was the same. I can’t forget that day, which I broke to Maureen. I was on foot to my apartment alone. Raining cats and dogs was the gift from god. And me, slow pace with drenched to the skin. I had no sad, the only thing made me doubt was in a word from Maureen. ‘There is always a seat in your deeply heart’.
Why you found me so quickly with a scared face made it looks like an emergency? I was just closed to some water even in the winter. Took me to my place, deeply concerned, some comfort……how long have you been with me? You know that’s not what I need. Maybe I was mad, maybe the rainwater cooling my mind, or that was just……just too warm of your embrace, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t see anything without you.
How could it happen, fortunately or not? After a kiss I heard your crying. When I woke up and opened my eyes to look at you, no shout, no scold, your smiling face still so pretty. That time I realized what’s meaning of Maureen’s word at last, that seat means you.
You only used less half second to decided go with me to Canada, although you got a good salary job already there. When I read the marriage certificate after you became my partner, to be honest, I felt nothing of that. Who can stop us? What things will stop the truly love?
You were rather unsure of yourself and always complained to me that my charm made girls crazy even gays or men. But I never told you the day which you went to my firm with the data that I forgot, men, women, their hot sight made me turn to a demon. I can’t lose your, same to you can’t without me.
I was perfectionist, but no one can really perfect, I know. You knew my every shortcomings and I remember your each bad habits. People called this things perfection, but they are not. That is the good stuff, to choice who into our little world. I’m not a perfect man, you either. But the point is whether we perfect for each other. I have ever afraid my blemish until I got your love, it makes us perfect for our one, our closed.
People do know what love is after they real lost, through everything, through the unusual sight, through the cancer. I don’t regret for everything, don’t regret every moment in this 40 years with you, don’t regret gave up my business to watched real sick you in last years.
3 years passed, soon after I will be dead too. There is nothing can make me feel lost any more, I’m ready for your call. This time, wherever you go, I go too.
Your lover: Sandy. N. March
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